Explaining Alexander
by BloodyInspiredMalace
Summary: Explaining Alexander is a series of fics that is (mostly) set in the canon!Shadowhunters universe, with the change that Alec has Aspergers. Please do not use these fics as a guidebook on how to deal with those of us on the Aspergers spectrum. Everyone is different and what may be true of Alec or me will not translate in exactly the same way to everyone on the spectrum.
1. I Can Barley Say

Alec had never felt more nervous in his life. The second he'd stormed down the isle and taken Magnus by his blazer and kissed him Alec hadn't stopped being nervous. In the moment it had been a lot of things adding to his nerves: the clave looking on, the judgment his parents were giving him, the fact that he was coming out and knocking out his first kiss at the same time- in a room full of people none the less. Now, however, the nerves were for different reasons.

Alec knew that he couldn't make everyone like him, no matter how hard he tried, his parents included, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt when people talked behind his back. Alec knew there was going to be talk, of course he did, but that didn't mean it was easy to deal with coming from the people who are supposed to defend you.

At first it hadn't been too big of deal, Alec had Magnus to talk to and even though he hadn't exactly poured his heart out the fact that Magnus was there was enough to ease Alec's worries; until Magus suddenly wasn't. Since the night of the wedding, Alec had been in near constant communication with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. After their conversation about Camille it had been conversation after conversation about Alec's immortality. Alec was constantly reassuring Magnus that he didn't want to cause him pain and Magnus, in turn, would reassure him that he would worry about that when the time came. After a while, those conversations were dropped for lighter subjects and Alec found himself reaching for his phone more often then ever before. Little messages from Magnus through out the day would leave him smiling to himself while he went over mission reports and putting the energy back in his step after a particularly rough training session.

Magnus had even helped Alec through a particularly nasty night of nightmares, when pain came seeping through Alec's parabatai rune, as Magnus stayed on the other end of the phone because Alec didn't want to risk Magnus coming to the institute so late at night without a justifiable reason, at least a justifiable reason in the clave's eyes.

All of that had come to halt on Tuesday evening. Alec had finished training for the day and sent Magnus a quick text before hoping in the shower. When Alec had cleaned off the dirt and grime from the day and dried off he checked his phone, his brow furrowing a bit when he noticed there was no reply. Alec shrugged it off, after all, Magnus kept odd business hours and he was probably not able to check his phone at the moment. Alec set his phone to the side and fell into bed.

The next morning rolled around and Alec sent another message:

 _ **From Alec:**_  
 _ **Just making sure you're still alive.**_

Alec pocketed his phone and went about his daily routine: today that was breakfast, training and more mission reports. It was lunch by the time Alec got to check his phone again, and he frowned at the fact that there was still no reply. Alec tried to ignore the worry he felt settling into his body, setting his phone back in his pocket and continuing on with the day's tasks. When Alec climbed into bed that night he still had no reply from Magnus, though his app told him Magnus had seen the message shortly after lunch. Alec tried not to worry about it too much and rolled over, closing his eyes and drifting of to sleep.

On day three Alec could feel a strange sense of panic filling him, one he hadn't felt in a long time. Magnus was very much alive, or at least if he wasn't his cat was checking his phone and updating his social media, but Alec hadn't heard a word from the Warlock. After so many weeks with non-stop contact it gave Alec a feeling of unease, what if Magnus had decided it wasn't worth it? That _he_ wasn't worth it? What if Magnus had realized that he'd only have a short while with Alec and it wasn't worth the pain and heartbreak?

Alec nervously put his phone in his back pocket and tried to go about his day, fighting back the strange sense of fear he felt. When evening hit Alec sent off another text, trying his best not to sound to pesky:

 _ **From Alec:**_  
 _ **Hope everything's okay. Sorry if these texts are annoying. Just let me know and I'll stop sending them.**_

On day four Alec felt like he was losing his mind. A little check next to Magnus's name let Alec know he'd seen the message from last night but there was still no reply. Alec was starting to think Magnus really had moved on and hadn't bothered to inform him. By lunch Alec had a text from Magnus and his heart soared until he read the message:

 _ **From Magnus:**_  
 _ **Everything's fine. Busy week.**_

Alec knew the words should soothe him, but instead they only made things worse. Even if Magnus was busy, he would usually take the time to type out a reply or two on his breaks or during meals. Instead, he was getting four words-and Magnus hadn't even denied that Alec was annoying him. Alec pocketed his phone and swallowed to fight back the strange sense of abandonment he felt.

Day five had Alec feeling like throwing his phone into the Hudson River. Alec had spent the day going on mission after mission, taking down demons left and right and by the time it was dark Alec was ready to take a shower and sleep-but he found that he couldn't. He'd been so focused on work that he hadn't had time to think about the fact that Magus was ignoring him, but as he checked his phone he saw that there was once again nothing from the Warlock.

Alec was good at ignoring emotions, it was something he'd learned to do at a young age, emotions got your hurt and getting too close to people only brought pain. Shadowhunters died early and often, being too close to someone only meant heartbreak and distraction from a Shadowhunter's goal. There were exceptions of course: Izzy, Jace, and Max, those were the people that Alec would do anything for, that knew his secrets [excluding Max, because Alec wasn't about to put that type of weight on a child] and were a part of him. Alec learned quickly that attachments outside of those only meant pain. Alec was good at making friends at first, or so he thought, but just as Alec thought he'd found a good friend they'd turn on him and tell him they'd never been friends and Alec could remember those situations all too well.

Brandon had been a fellow Shadowhunter, and he seemed like a nice guy, always willing to train with Alec or grab a drink with Jace and Izzy, but after three months of constantly hanging out with the Lightwood gang and being in near constant contact with Alec, he'd told Alec that they were only acquaintances and Alec realized that he'd gotten a lot closer to Brandon than Brandon had to him. Where Alec could tell you Brandon's favorite color, the way he felt about peanut butter, and the Clave's latest bylaws-Brandon couldn't even remember anything about Alec. He'd accused Alec of being oblivious to his personality, but it was Brandon who was oblivious. After that, Alec swore not to let anyone else in, but every time he would fall for the same thing. He'd meet someone and get close to them, only to be told he didn't matter; and it was happening again. It was happening with Magnus.

Alec set his phone aside and tried to fight off the unreasonable tears.

On day six Alec had given up all hope that the Warlock would ever speak to him again. Alec figured he should probably have seen this coming, after all it never made sense for someone as beautiful and powerful to go after someone like him. A Nephilim with ex-circle memebers for parents who frowned upon Magnus not just for his orientation but who he was. Alec had gotten his hopes up and now he'd have to deal with being crushed. He should have seen it coming.

Alec shoved his bow back in it's resting place with a huff, mentally slapping himself for being so rough on his most prized possession but not able to undo the movement. He just needed a way to get some of the things he as feeling out.

"Now, now. What did that bow ever do to you?"

The voice was familar, soothing and warm;it reminded Alec of a place he never wanted to leave. Alec turned slowly, worried that his ears were playing tricks on him. Alec didn't answer, instead he stared at the man in front of him, a man who looked no different than usual; His hair perfectly coifed, makeup done perfectly without a flake of glitter out of place. Alec knew he looked horrible in comparison. HIs shoulder sagged with exhuastion from the hunt and from the past few days, his eyes were red rimmed from lack of sleep and bruises were forming under his eyes.

When he offered no reply Magnus gave and awkward litle smile, "Perhaps we should go back to my loft?" Alec nodded but didn't say anything further and Magnus tookt hat as his que. Magnus quickly created a portal and Alec steped thorugh, Magnus following behind.

"What's bothering you, Alexander? You've hardly spoken a word since you ot here." Magnus looked so concerned that it made Alec's heart hurt and he looked into his lap, picking at a loose thread on his cargo's ashe worked up the courge to speak.

"Are...what...what am I to you?" Alec's voice was quiet, scared of the awnser and trying his hardest not to back out of his own question. Alec was proud of himself for managing to get the words out.

"Where is this coming from?" Magnus set his drink aside and moved to sit beside Alec, trying to get a better read on Alec's state of mind.  
Alec bit his lip as he tried to think of an explanation that didn't make him sound needy.

"I just...you didn't talk to me for a week and I assumed you had...changed your mind. I mean, I'm not immortal and I'm sure you realized it by now. I'm not exactly the most elidagble bachlor and until the wedding I've never even kissed-" Alec cut himself off and rubbed at the back of his neck, trying to hold back tears he didn't know he had.

"Oh, Alexander." Magnus's voice was so full of understanding that Alec could hardly stand it. Magnus reached out to take Alec's hand in his own,causing Alec to look up. "I will never change my mind. I had a crazy scheduale this week. I had to make a healing potion and my loft was trashed by a demon I had to summon and don't even get me started on trying to get payment out of the fare folk." Manus shook his head with a tired smile and it was then that Alec noticed the dark circles on Magnus's own face, proof of the week he'd had.

"I didn't change my mind and I didn't forget about you, I just got busy. And don't ever think that your experiene matters to me. Not having expeirnece dosn't make you less of a person or less desirable; and you my darling, are very desirable."

Alec blushed, ducking his head again and Magnus smiled a little to himself.

"Now that that's settle...why don't we have that drink you promised me?"


	2. Hold Me Close

Alec had never felt more nervous in his life. The second he'd stormed down the isle and taken Magnus by his blazer and kissed him Alec hadn't stopped being nervous. In the moment it had been a lot of things adding to his nerves: the clave looking on, the judgment his parents were giving him, the fact that he was coming out and knocking out his first kiss at the same time- in a room full of people none the less. Now, however, the nerves were for different reasons.

Alec knew that he couldn't make everyone like him, no matter how hard he tried, his parents included, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt when people talked behind his back. Alec knew there was going to be talk, of course he did, but that didn't mean it was easy to deal with coming from the people who are supposed to defend you.

At first it hadn't been too big of deal, Alec had Magnus to talk to and even though he hadn't exactly poured his heart out the fact that Magnus was there was enough to ease Alec's worries; until Magus suddenly wasn't. Since the night of the wedding, Alec had been in near constant communication with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. After their conversation about Camille it had been conversation after conversation about Alec's immortality. Alec was constantly reassuring Magnus that he didn't want to cause him pain and Magnus, in turn, would reassure him that he would worry about that when the time came. After a while, those conversations were dropped for lighter subjects and Alec found himself reaching for his phone more often then ever before. Little messages from Magnus through out the day would leave him smiling to himself while he went over mission reports and putting the energy back in his step after a particularly rough training session.

Magnus had even helped Alec through a particularly nasty night of nightmares, when pain came seeping through Alec's parabatai rune, as Magnus stayed on the other end of the phone because Alec didn't want to risk Magnus coming to the institute so late at night without a justifiable reason, at least a justifiable reason in the clave's eyes.

All of that had come to halt on Tuesday evening. Alec had finished training for the day and sent Magnus a quick text before hoping in the shower. When Alec had cleaned off the dirt and grime from the day and dried off he checked his phone, his brow furrowing a bit when he noticed there was no reply. Alec shrugged it off, after all, Magnus kept odd business hours and he was probably not able to check his phone at the moment. Alec set his phone to the side and fell into bed.

The next morning rolled around and Alec sent another message:

 **From Alec:**

 _Just making sure you're still alive._

Alec pocketed his phone and went about his daily routine: today that was breakfast, training and more mission reports. It was lunch by the time Alec got to check his phone again, and he frowned at the fact that there was still no reply. Alec tried to ignore the worry he felt settling into his body, setting his phone back in his pocket and continuing on with the day's tasks. When Alec climbed into bed that night he still had no reply from Magnus, though his app told him Magnus had seen the message shortly after lunch. Alec tried not to worry about it too much and rolled over, closing his eyes and drifting of to sleep.

On day three Alec could feel a strange sense of panic filling him, one he hadn't felt in a long time. Magnus was very much alive, or at least if he wasn't his cat was checking his phone and updating his social media, but Alec hadn't heard a word from the Warlock. After so many weeks with non-stop contact it gave Alec a feeling of unease, what if Magnus had decided it wasn't worth it? That he wasn't worth it? What if Magnus had realized that he'd only have a short while with Alec and it wasn't worth the pain and heartbreak?

Alec nervously put his phone in his back pocket and tried to go about his day, fighting back the strange sense of fear he felt. When evening hit Alec sent off another text, trying his best not to sound to pesky:

 **From Alec:**

 _Hope everything's okay. Sorry if these texts are annoying. Just let me know and I'll stop sending them._

On day four Alec felt like he was losing his mind. A little check next to Magnus's name let Alec know he'd seen the message from last night but there was still no reply. Alec was starting to think Magnus really had moved on and hadn't bothered to inform him. By lunch Alec had a text from Magnus and his heart soared until he read the message:

 **From Magnus:**

 _Everything's fine. Busy week._

Alec knew the words should soothe him, but instead they only made things worse. Even if Magnus was busy, he would usually take the time to type out a reply or two on his breaks or during meals. Instead, he was getting four words-and Magnus hadn't even denied that Alec was annoying him. Alec pocketed his phone and swallowed to fight back the strange sense of abandonment he felt.

Day five had Alec feeling like throwing his phone into the Hudson River. Alec had spent the day going on mission after mission, taking down demons left and right and by the time it was dark Alec was ready to take a shower and sleep-but he found that he couldn't. He'd been so focused on work that he hadn't had time to think about the fact that Magus was ignoring him, but as he checked his phone he saw that there was once again nothing from the Warlock.

Alec was good at ignoring emotions, it was something he'd learned to do at a young age, emotions got your hurt and getting too close to people only brought pain. Shadowhunters died early and often, being too close to someone only meant heartbreak and distraction from a Shadowhunter's goal. There were exceptions of course: Izzy, Jace, and Max, those were the people that Alec would do anything for, that knew his secrets [excluding Max, because Alec wasn't about to put that type of weight on a child] and were a part of him. Alec learned quickly that attachments outside of those only meant pain. Alec was good at making friends at first, or so he thought, but just as Alec thought he'd found a good friend they'd turn on him and tell him they'd never been friends and Alec could remember those situations all too well.

Brandon had been a fellow Shadowhunter, and he seemed like a nice guy, always willing to train with Alec or grab a drink with Jace and Izzy, but after three months of constantly hanging out with the Lightwood gang and being in near constant contact with Alec, he'd told Alec that they were only acquaintances and Alec realized that he'd gotten a lot closer to Brandon than Brandon had to him. Where Alec could tell you Brandon's favorite color, the way he felt about peanut butter, and the Clave's latest bylaws-Brandon couldn't even remember anything about Alec. He'd accused Alec of being oblivious to his personality, but it was Brandon who was oblivious. After that, Alec swore not to let anyone else in, but every time he would fall for the same thing. He'd meet someone and get close to them, only to be told he didn't matter; and it was happening again. It was happening with Magnus.

Alec set his phone aside and tried to fight off the unreasonable tears.

On day six Alec had given up all hope that the Warlock would ever speak to him again. Alec figured he should probably have seen this coming, after all it never made sense for someone as beautiful and powerful to go after someone like him. A Nephilim with ex-circle memebers for parents who frowned upon Magnus not just for his orientation but who he was. Alec had gotten his hopes up and now he'd have to deal with being crushed. He should have seen it coming.

Alec shoved his bow back in it's resting place with a huff, mentally slapping himself for being so rough on his most prized possession but not able to undo the movement. He just needed a way to get some of the things he as feeling out.

"Now, now. What did that bow ever do to you?"

The voice was familar, soothing and warm;it reminded Alec of a place he never wanted to leave. Alec turned slowly, worried that his ears were playing tricks on him. Alec didn't answer, instead he stared at the man in front of him, a man who looked no different than usual; His hair perfectly coifed, makeup done perfectly without a flake of glitter out of place. Alec knew he looked horrible in comparison. HIs shoulder sagged with exhuastion from the hunt and from the past few days, his eyes were red rimmed from lack of sleep and bruises were forming under his eyes.

When he offered no reply Magnus gave and awkward litle smile, "Perhaps we should go back to my loft?" Alec nodded but didn't say anything further and Magnus tookt hat as his que. Magnus quickly created a portal and Alec steped thorugh, Magnus following behind.

"What's bothering you, Alexander? You've hardly spoken a word since you ot here." Magnus looked so concerned that it made Alec's heart hurt and he looked into his lap, picking at a loose thread on his cargo's ashe worked up the courge to speak.

"Are...what...what am I to you?" Alec's voice was quiet, scared of the awnser and trying his hardest not to back out of his own question. Alec was proud of himself for managing to get the words out.

"Where is this coming from?" Magnus set his drink aside and moved to sit beside Alec, trying to get a better read on Alec's state of mind.

Alec bit his lip as he tried to think of an explanation that didn't make him sound needy.

"I just...you didn't talk to me for a week and I assumed you had...changed your mind. I mean, I'm not immortal and I'm sure you realized it by now. I'm not exactly the most elidagble bachlor and until the wedding I've never even kissed-" Alec cut himself off and rubbed at the back of his neck, trying to hold back tears he didn't know he had.

"Oh, Alexander." Magnus's voice was so full of understanding that Alec could hardly stand it. Magnus reached out to take Alec's hand in his own,causing Alec to look up. "I will never change my mind. I had a crazy scheduale this week. I had to make a healing potion and my loft was trashed by a demon I had to summon and don't even get me started on trying to get payment out of the fare folk." Manus shook his head with a tired smile and it was then that Alec noticed the dark circles on Magnus's own face, proof of the week he'd had.

"I didn't change my mind and I didn't forget about you, I just got busy. And don't ever think that your experiene matters to me. Not having expeirnece dosn't make you less of a person or less desirable; and you my darling, are very desirable."

Alec blushed, ducking his head again and Magnus smiled a little to himself.

"Now that that's settle...why don't we have that drink you promised me?"

 **A/N:** Thank you so much for reading! I'm already working on the second installment but it's taking a bit longer than a usual fic would since I have to try and think through it in my own Aspergian way and then translate it to a way others will be able to make sense of. I sincerely hope you all enjoyed this fic!


	3. Touch Me M

After it was established that Alec craved touch, Magnus and Alec's physical relationship progressed quickly, though maybe a little more quickly than Mangus thought would happen. It wasn't that Magnus was complaining, he'd entertained rather erotic images of the hazel eyed beauty for far longer than he cared to admit, but Magnus was a little worried about how lightly Alec seemed to be taking everything. Alec over thought everything, sometimes to the point where Manus would have to snap Alec out of his thoughts, so the fact that Alec just went with their physical relationship without any hesitations made Magnus a little worried; until one day Alec seemed to snap out of it and go the complete opposite direction in his thinking.

Heated makeouts that Alec had been fine with only days before were suddenly being pulled away from earlier than normal, and a once confident Shadowhunter was being replaced by someone who seemed almost terrified.

Which is why Magnus was currently sitting on his new favorite plush loveseat with a cup of green mint tea in hand, waiting for Alec to arrive so that they could have a discussion about it.

When Alec came through the door Magnus's eyes snapped up and a smile spread across his face, no matter how many times it happened Magnus would never grow tired of seeing Alec walk into his home like he belonged there. "Ahh Alexander. Come have a seat."

Alec was still getting used to the way Magnus spoke, the way he didn't give anything away unless he wanted to, and Alec was not very good at reading things when they weren't blunt.

Alec's eyebrows furrowed as he slipped off his shoes, something Magnus had been adamant about when Alec had started visiting, and hung his bow on the hook by the door. Alec was at the loft often enough that Magnus had decided to put a hook on the wall for Alec's gear, using the excuse that it put scuff marks on the floor.

Alec crossed the floor and took a seat on the couch, opposite Magnus, his eyebrows still furrowed in confusion. Magnus chuckled to himself, and snapped his fingers, causing a tea cup and saucer to appear on the table beside Alec. "Relax darling, I just want to have a chat."

Alec's eyebrows rose, knowing good and well that if Magnus was doing something like this, something so formal, he was planning more than a simple 'chat'.

"About?" Alec reached for the cup of tea and took a small sip, sitting the cup back down quickly when the liquid burned his tongue.

"About your sudden fear of intimacy."

Alec's eyebrows furrowed deeper, after all, it's not like he'd been shy around Magnus, he'd fallen asleep in Magnus's arms after watching a 'Mundane Movie Marathon' just the past week. Alec knew he wasn't a very open person but Magnus was the one who saw what others didn't. At seeing Alec's confusion Magnus decided to clarify.

"Sex, Alexander."

Alec's cheeks immediately flushed, the tips of his ears going warm and he shifted a little from his place on the couch. Magnus was so nonchalant about things like this and Alec wished he could be more like Magnus in that respect, he suddenly felt very uneasy.

"Trust me when I say I'm not trying to push you into anything, when you're ready you're ready, or if you're never ready then that's fine as well, but I am worried about your sudden aversion to it, when you seemed so curious a few weeks ago."

"Magnus, I…" Alec opened his mouth and closed it again as he tried to formulate a response. Alec looked down at his lap, where the zipper pulls on his gear jeans seemed to suddenly be the most interesting thing in the room.

Alec heard rather than saw Magnus get up, feeling the cushion beside him dip when Magnus came to sit beside him. Alec hoped that Magnus couldn't tell how hard his heart was beating.

"Angel, I just want to make sure you're okay. If there is something I did to-"

"No! I mean, no it's not that."Alec sighed, rubbing at his eyes with his palms, perhaps a little too harshly if the lights he saw were anything to go by.

"It's just…I've never done anything like this before." The stress was clear in Alec's voice and Magnus couldn't help but let the love show in his eyes as understanding flooded through him. Magnus still remembered his first time and while it wasn't anything special, he did remember how nervous he'd been prior; and Magnus hadn't spent his whole life repressing his feelings.

"It's not that I don't…want that, it's that I don't know how."

"If it's sex ED you need, the internet is a wonderful place to start." A teasing smile made its way onto Magnus's face.

"No, it's not-I know how it works, I get the mechanics of it all, I just don't know how to put it into action." Alec blushed a little darker, chancing a glance up at Magnus before his eyes darted away again, too embarrassed to make eye contact with the Warlock. If Alec made eye contact he knew he'd lose his nerve and he really needed this to make sense right now.

"It's like…when you're kissing me, I know what I'm doing, mostly. You taught me, but when it goes beyond that it's like I can't get my brain to function. I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

Magnus smiled softly, reaching out and gently placing his hand chain decorated hand on Alec's forearm. "You're not supposed to do anything. It's just something you feel. It's not going to be perfect the first time around, or even the second, it's something you have to get used to."

Alec swallowed, trying to get the thoughts racing through his mind to quiet down.

"It's not that simple. I can't just turn it off. My thoughts don't just stop because I'm enjoying myself and even if they do stop, I can't…" Alec rubbed at his forehead in frustration, "It's like there is a disconnect in my brain and my body. I can be enjoying it but then my brain shuts off so much that I'm useless, and no one wants that."

Alec could recall all too well their most recent makeout session on the couch. Magnus's lips had been at his neck and Alec was letting loose quiet moans and whimpers that had Magnus going mad. Alec knew he should have done something besides lay there but he just couldn't make his body cooperate. Where was he supposed to put his hands? Should he even move them at all? Was he being too loud? Could Magnus tell just how much he was enjoying this? Alec's head hurt just thinking about it.

"Alexander, look at me." Magnus reached for Alec's chin, gently tilting his head up so that he could look Alec in the eyes. He could practically see the thoughts bouncing around inside of Alec's head and he needed to stop them before they got out of control.

"You're not required to do anything. Yes, sex is a give and take activity, but you're new to this. I'm not expecting mind blowing sex the first time or even the first few times. Sex is, in some ways, just like your training. You learn the more times you do it and the more relaxed you'll become. Soon you won't even have to think about it."

Alec looked down at Manus's shirt, avoiding eye contact, as he tried to process what Magnus was saying to him. Alec didn't know how to communicate what he was thinking but Magnus seemed to understand and let it drop for the night. Magnus dropped his hand down to where Alec's lay in his lap, taking one in his own, running his thumb across the Nephilim's knuckles.

"Why don't we both get changed into something more comfortable and put on some TV?"

It wasn't until two weeks later that Alec and Magnus had some time to themselves. Alec and Magnus were cuddling on Magnus's bed, a big fluffy blanket covering their bodies as they chatted. It had been a rough two weeks, during which Alec's Parabati bond had a flare up of excruciating pain that led the gang to setting up a rescue for Jace; only for the whole thing to fall apart. Between the pain Alec was receiving through the bond and the pain of failing at getting Jace back, laying together seemed like the perfect way to spend a few hours.

After such a rough ordeal Magnus had promised Alec a day or two away from the institute and surprisingly enough Alec had relented and allowed Izzy be in charge while he was away.

Alec snuggled closer to Magnus, burying his face in the crook of Magnus's neck as he relaxed, listening to the sound of Magnus's breathing. Magnus moved one of his hands from under Alec's head to gently run his fingers through the boy's hair, smiling to himself when a quiet moan slipped out; Magnus stored the information away for a later time.

Alec immediately pulled back to look Magnus in the eyes before blurting out. "I'm ready."

Magnus's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the out of the blue statement, before Alec's words registered. "Oh…are you sure? You know that I'm a very patient man alexander."

"I'm tired of waiting. I want you." Alec blushed at the words, hearing them out loud made them a lot more embarrassing than Alec already thought they were, though Magnus couldn't hep but smile, brushing Alec's hair from his forehead. Magnus knew that it was hard to Alec to ask for what he wanted, and he wasn't about to discourage that.

"Then you shall have me." Magnus pressed a soft kiss to Alec's forehead.

Alec smiled softly, glancing up shyly at Magnus through his lashes before leaning up to kiss the warlock. Alec would never get tired of kissing Magus and though it had been a bit of a struggle grasp at first, he finally felt that he had learned how to properly kiss someone, and now he could just do it without thinking about it. It wasn't too much of a problem until Magnus had moved to start kissing at Alec's neck. Alec let out a quiet moan as Magnus's teeth scraped along his skin, his eyes fluttering closed at the sensation and once again he was left unsure of what to do. Magnus smiled against his neck,sensing the taller man's hesitance.

"Relax."

Alec tried to obey, focusing only on the feeling of Magnus's lips but his hands still stayed at his sides and Magnus chuckled quietly into the darkness. He reached down and took Alec's hands, moving them to his back. "You can touch."

Alec blushed but nodded as Magnus went back to the task at hand, causing Alec to whimper quietly, his hands awkwardly moving along Magnus's back. He wanted to touch Magnus's skin, to feel every inch of him under his fingers, but Alec had no idea how to get to that point, his face was flamed with embarrassment already. Alec knew he must have been focusing too hard because when he felt hands on his skin he almost jumped in surprise.

"Angel, are you sure about this?"

One of the things that Alec loved so much about Magnus was that he was always checking to make sure Alec was comfortable with what they were doing. Alec never felt unsafe around Magnus and it was one of the reasons he was so open to the Warlock. "Yeah, I just…nervous." Alec mumbled, the red glow still in place on his cheeks.

Magnus smiled and place a soft kiss to the Nephilim's lips, "Just relax and enjoy." Magnus ran his fingers over the smooth skin of Alec's abs, committing the dips and raises to memory, inching up Alec's shirt as he went. When his hands reached Alec's collar bone he helped pull Alec's t-shirt over his head, tossing it to the side before he reattached his lips to Alec's neck, slowly working his way down Alec's chest, taking a nipple into his mouth and gently running his teeth over it. Alec gasped in surprise, his back arching ever so slightly and Magnus smiled, his hand moving to run his nails over the other nipple.

Magnus moved to kiss down Alec's abs, paying special attention to each rune, before he stopped at the waistband of Alec's jeans. Alec blushed, squirming a little until Magnus placed a hand on his abs and ran it over them, causing a shiver to go up Alec's spine.

"Beautiful."

Alec blushed, he spent hours training and getting into shape for missions, but he never saw himself as attractive, let alone beautiful and the amount of scrutiny that Magnus was placing on him made him nervous. His own hands reached for Magnus's shirt ,desperate to get the attention off of himself. "Can I?"

"Of course." Magnus leaned forward so that Alec could get a better grip and let him pull the shirt over his head.

Alec tossed the offending article to the side and bit his lip, his hand staying on Magnus's hips. Magnus took Alec's hands in his own and placed them on his abs, "Go ahead."

Alec nodded and gently ran his fingers over Magnus's abs, a quiet moan slipping from his lips and Alec's eyes widened ever so slightly in awe. Magnus had tanned flawless skin that stretched over his well-defined muscles. Alec had never seen Magnus shirtless before but now he wondered why Magnus ever wore one to begin with.

As Alec gently ran his fingers over the flesh, Magnus shivered and Alec was mesmerized as the muscles rippled under his fingers. Magnus leaned down to press his lip against Alec's, a gentle encouragement. Alec got lost in the kiss, forgetting his hands for a moment as Magnus's own hands traveled down Alec's abs to his belt where they paused. Magnus broke the kiss, "Can-?"

"Yes." Alec blushed at how quickly he replied, "The answer is always yes, Magnus."

Magnus smiled and leaned back in, "Just making sure, Angel." and kissed him once more while his hands worked on the buckle. Magnus made quick work of the belt and tossed it to the side and quickly undid Alec's fly, gently tugging on the pants, alec lifting his ass off the bed slightly to help the process along. Alec's wasted no time once his pants were off, his own hands reached for the fly on Magnus's pants, fumbling with the intricate button as a blush colored his cheeks. Magnus smiled encouragingly and Alec finally won the fight with the button, quickly stripping the pants off and letting Magnus kick them off.

Magnus smiled and went back in for another kiss, letting his body relax against Alec and when he shifted Alec could feel Magnus's cock pressed against his own through the material of their boxers,causing Alec to let out a quiet moan. Magnus's fingers roamed over Alec's side, nails scratching as they went, causing a whimper to fall from Alec's lips, his hips rocking into Magnus's own. Magnus gasped quietly into Alec's mouth, the feeling of their cocks brushing together sending fire through his veins. Magnus snapped his fingers, the last barrier of between their bodies vanishing.

In that instant Alec could feel every inch of Magnus's skin pressed against his own. Alec had never really given much thought to what it would feel like to be close to Magnus like this. Sure he'd imagined hands in certain places and lips on his skin, but he'd never stopped to just think about something as simple as Magnus's skin against his own. It sent tingles along Alec's body, and heat pooled in his stomach at the sensation.

Magnus rolled his hips down against Alec's, causing a moan to slip from the Shadowhunters lips and he didn't even think before blurting out, "Please. Magnus, I...I need you."

Magnus nodded, moving away from Alec just a bit so that he could reach for the lube. Alec glanced down, unable to help himself, and blushed at what he saw. Magnus was beautiful with his clothes on but with his clothes off he was on a whole nother level. There didn't seem to be a flaw anywhere on the man, nor any hair, just smooth flawless skin. Alec's eyes tracked over Magnus's abs, then followed the defined V that lead to where Magnus was thick, hard and leaking. Alec couldn't help but be a little mesmerized.

Alec looked up at Magnus with lust blown eyes, his breathing heavy, nerves setting in as Magnus looked down at him. "How do you want to do this?"

Alec flushed dark red, "I um...I'd like for you to...take the lead." Magnus smiled a playful smile, "Which means? Alexander, you're going to have to be a little more clear."

Alec flushed so red he was sure he put a lobster to shame, "Iwanttobeonthebottom." Alec managed to mumble out, his words so strung together that Magnus almost didn't catch them. Almost.

"Very well." Magnus leaned down to press his lips to Alec's own, distracting the Nephilim while he worked a knee between Alec's legs, gently pressing them apart. Magnus slicked his fingers with lube and brought them down to Alec's entrance, circling the ring of muscle with a single finger, moving to kiss down Alec's jaw to his neck, biting and licking at the skin there as he slowly pressed a single finger inside. Alec had fingered himself before, though not often, and he was familiar with the sensation but having Magnus do it was a whole new experience. It wasn't pleasurable but it wasn't painful either and the attention to his neck was enough to keep Alec wanting more, his hips rolling up slightly as Magnus thrust the digit in and out.

Alec whimpered quietly and Magnus added another, biting down on Alec's neck as he did so, causing Alec to cry out in a strange new mix of pleasure and pain. The fingers were uncomfortable but Alec had read enough to know that it would start to feel good after the pain went away so he focused on Magnus's lips instead.

"So good for me, darling." Magnus praised, kissing the skin of Alec's neck as he scissored his fingers gently, pressing them a little deeper as he searched for Alec's prostate. Alec couldn't keep the blush off of his face, loving the praise that Magnus was giving. The moment Magnus's fingers grazed across the special spot Alec let out a moan, blushing when he heard the sound escaping his throat. Magnus smirked, massaging his fingers gently against the spot as Alec's hips bucked up against Magnus's own, causing a moan to fall from the warlock's lips.

"Magnus...please." Alec whimpered, shimmying his hips in an attempt to press Magnus's fingers further inside. "Patience, Angel. I'm almost done, I promise." Magnus added a third finger, causing Alec to bit his lip in discomfort but Magnus was quick to put his focus back on Alec's neck, nipping at the skin there and sucking as he thrust all three fingers in and out.

Alec let his head roll to the side, giving Magnus extra room, whimpers and moans escaping Alec's mouth as Magnus sent waves of pleasure through his body. It took only a moment more for Magnus to decide Alec was stretched enough and he pulled back, sliding his fingers free, his clean hand reaching for the bottle of lube. Alec watched Magnus move in silence, not trusting himself to speak as he watched the warlock slick his cock in lube. Magnus gently spread Alec's legs a little wider, lining himself up before leaning down to kiss Alec.

"Are you sure?" Magnus asked against Alec's lips, his heart beating faster than he could remember it beating in a long time.

"Magnus, please." That as all the encouragement Magnus needed, he pushed in slowly, leaning his forehead against Alec's, screwing his eyes shut as he fought off the urge to bury himself completely inside of Alec in a split second, as he felt the tight heat consume him. Alec's breath caught in his throat, his fingers gripping tightly onto Magnus's comforter, his eyes screwing shut, as he tried to deal with the pain. Alec knew it was going to hurt but he hadn't known it was going to be quite this bad.

When Magnus was fully sheathed inside he swallowed hard, giving himself a moment before he opened his eyes, "Relax, Angel. It will hurt less if you relax." Magnus coxed, kissing Alec's forehead softly, Alec's hands moving to Magnus's hips and gripping them tightly as he tried to get used to the feeling. It hurt like hell but the sensation of pure pain was slowly starting to fade and in its place was a feeling of...wonder. Magnus Bane, the high warlock of Brooklyn, his beautiful boyfriend, was inside of him, making him feel closer to Magnus than he'd ever felt before. Alec's felt his throat tighten in emotion,a shaky breath escaping him as he tried to hold back tears.

Alec couldn't help the way his body clenched around Magnus, needing the other to move, desperately, his eyes opening to plead with Magnus.

"Alexander..."Magnus breathed, pulling back just enough so that he could see Alec's eyes.

"Magnus-" Alec was cut off by Magnus's lips crashing with his own, Magnus's pulled his hips back just enough so that only the head of his cock was left inside of Alec before he thrust forward, causing a moan to slip from Alec's lips, his hands falling from the warlock's hips to tangle in the bedspread. Magnus took that as a good sign and began a slow rhythm, Alec's hands gripping into the material in pleasure instead of pain. He could feel Magnus filling him completely, making him feel whole in ways he'd never felt before, and though he's shared a parabatai bond for years, he'd never felt this close to someone before.

Magnus broke the kiss only because he had to, he couldn't breathe anymore and passing out in the middle of something this close to perfect would be a crime. Magnus angled his hips a bit before he picked up his pace and when he slid in just right, hitting Alec's prostate, Alec almost screams, arching his back, his face contorting in pleasure. Magnus moaned, his hands quickly moving down to take Alec's cock in his hand and stroking in time with his thrusts. Alec's toes curled in pleasure, he'd never felt anything this good in his life.

"I...I-I can't-" Alec's words were choked off but Magnus seemed to get the point, he knew that Alec's first time wouldn't last too long, hell Magnus was proud of himself for lasting this long, so he tightened his grip, and leaned down to bite a mark into Alec's deflect rune.

"Let go." Magnus breathed, pulling away so that he could watch Alec's face. It only took a few more thrusts before Alec was coming hard, moaning Magnus's name and arching his back so far that Magnus worried he might break. Magnus doesn't fare much better though, because he follows Alec into pleasure he's never felt before, spilling inside of Alec with a moan.

It took both of them a moment to catch their breaths before they could speak and Alec is the first.

"Fuck." It's the first time Magnus has heard Alec use that word and his dick gives a painful twitch.

"Alexander, that was...incredible." Magnus gently pulled his hips away, causing Alec to let out a whimper, a blush making its way to his cheeks. Magnus smiled, gently kissing Alec's forehead and snapping his fingers to clean them both off before pulling Alec close. Alec went willingly into his arms, cuddling close and placing a soft kiss to Magnus's neck. All the energy had been drained from his body but Alec had never felt more content.

"Thank you." He breathed, closing his eyes as his body caught up with him.

"Anytime, Alexander. Anytime."


	4. Hold On For Dear Life

**A/N:** Thank you to my amazing Beta reader Ladymatt for all her help and guidance in helping me convey in words what being overwhelmed during an Aspergers episode like for people who've never had one. Writing this addition to the series may have been the hardest one yet because it required the most words and insight into what it's like to have Aspergers, so I hope you all enjoy!

The moment Alec is alone is when it happens, when he slips out of that put together person and into himself. His shoulders relax, the tension easing out of them, though his mind hasn't fully let go of the day's stress. Alec always has to wonder if life is this much work for everyone else. Jace and Izzy hardly seem to think before they act-or even speak. Every action, every word, seems to be fluid and without stress; Alec envies them.

Jace had always been the type to say whatever is on his mind, even if what he has to say isn't appropriate for the situation or company. Izzy was much the same, though she had a better sense of how to behave around the Clave. They both seemed to ignore the rules, something Alec could never bring himself to do. Just the thought of breaking the rules sent Alec into a kind of stress he'd rather forget existed. He'd had a passing thought of breaking the rules here and there but it was always followed quickly by a little voice in his head going 'no way in hell, you know better.'

Alec isn't sure how others can ignore that important voice.

Alec isn't the type for a heart to heart. Alec grew up bottling up his emotions and pushing them so deep down that they would never resurface. He got skilled in the art of 'think first, feel later'. It made him a great Shadowhunter, but sometimes it became too overwhelming. Alec usually had multiple things on his mind at once, even on a fairly stress-free day, and after a while they all started to add up.

Today was just another ordinary Tuesday at the Institute. Alec had gotten out of bed, taken a quick shower, scarfed down some breakfast and made his way to the training room. He'd spent several hours sparring with different Shadowhunters, working out until he felt like jelly and he wanted to pass out and sleep for a century. Then came the call, possible movements on Valentine, and Alec had rushed to the weapons room to gear up. Alec sent a quick text to Magnus with their destination before pocketing his phone.

It didn't take long for Alec and the small group of Shadowhunters to arrive at the docks and when they did, all hell broke loose. Demons appeared from every corner, taking down Shadowhunters left and right, Alec barely registered anything, moving on instinct as he worked with his bow. Alec hardly had time to think as the creatures descended upon them, it was as if his conscious thoughts melted away and he became a machine; aim, pull, let go, repeat.

Alec cornered a demon against one of the shipping crates, drawing back his bow and the demon smirked his way, "Valentine will never let your precious Parabatai go. Even if he did, he'd never be able to swim that far."

A livid look crossed Alec's features, the thought of anyone harming Jace in any way sending a protective surge through his body. Jace was his Parabatai and though Alec loved Magnus, that didn't mean he'd completely gotten over his feelings for Jace. It had been a long two months of trying to find Jace, and in those months Alec's feelings for Jace had started to fall away, but they weren't completely gone and Alec knew he may never fully lose them. It made protecting Jace that much more personal and painful, because even though Alec could feel some of Jace's pain through the bond he also felt his own pain at the idea of Jace being hurt.

Alec let the arrow fly, taking the demon down before returning to the rest of the hoard. When the carnage stopped, the only ones left standing were Izzy, Alec, and two Shadowhunters that Alec hadn't really gotten to know.

"One of the demons gave me a clue, Iz. Jace is across the ocean, or in it, either way, it's a clue."

Izzy nodded, "Let's head to Magnus's place and see if there is anything new he's discovered about places Valentine might be hiding."

Alec nodded in agreement and lead the party of Shadowhunters down the route to Magnus's loft, trying not think about all the lives they'd lost only moments earlier. Alec knew the life of a Shadowhunter was a dangerous one, loss was expected, people died early and kids were born young, but ever since Valentine had returned the casualties were more frequent and the bodies were piling up faster than ever before.

Alec couldn't help but feel like their deaths were his fault. He was the leader of the institute, he was the one approving these missions and he was the one so desperately searching for Jace. If he could just learn to let go and focus on Valentine alone, if he could just put his feelings aside and be willing to sacrifice Jace if it meant saving dozens, maybe more, Shadowhunters, then they wouldn't be losing so many people; but Alec couldn't do that. Alec knew that he'd burn down the world to keep his Parabatai safe and alive, no matter the cost.

Alec dumped his gear at the door, kicking off his boots beside his gear. Magnus preferred that shoes be removed before anyone entered his place and Alec wasn't about to argue that fact, especially not when his boots were as coated in ichor as his were. Izzy did the same with her boots, though she set hers down gently on the floor mat, saying something about designer heels. The other two Shadowhunters opted to stay by the door, shoes on their feet.

"Alexander!" Magnus's voice came from inside the apartment, out of sight. "I hope you're early because you were too excited to test out that new toy I got for-oh, Isabelle. How lovely to see you!" Magnus grinned as he came around the corner and spotted the siblings at the door. Alec was blushing a dark red and Izzy was smirking at her brother.

"Sorry to drop in but one of Valentine's demons let it slip that Jace is being held somewhere in the ocean, or across it, we're not sure yet."

"The demon mentioned that if Jace escaped he wouldn't be able to swim that far." Alec looked uncomfortable, more so than usual. Alec had only recently surrendered his V card and while he was okay letting Magnus lead him through the discovery of his sexuality, it was not something he wanted to be shared with his sister-or the other Shadowhunters present. Alec was sure he'd never be as open about his bedroom activities as Magnus was and he was perfectly okay with that.

"Warlock tracking won't work across water, but I can try and ask around for any strange activity from the Downworlders. Find out who is coming and going across the ocean." Magnus smirked, pulling out his phone. "I had a meeting scheduled with a few Vampires anyway."

Alec hated parties. Technically, they were having a meeting but four vampires became ten and the next thing they knew the place was packed with people. The loud music, the flashing lights, the people pressed so close that it was impossible not to bump into multiple bodies walking across the room. Izzy was eating the atmosphere up, changing from one dance partner to another and getting far too close to some for Alec's liking. He'd been leaning against the bar for the past hour, hoping to pick up on some conversation that might lead them to Jace but instead all he was finding was loud music, so loud it felt like it was liquefying his brain.

Alec was able to zone out, losing himself in his head to try and drown out the sheer amount of visuals he was getting. The bright lights were enough to get aggravating after a few hours, but add it to the constant loud music and the bodies that kept brushing against him and it was enough to set his nerves on edge. Alec was a very physical person, not one for words, but he preferred to share the privilege of touch with those he trusted-not dozens of strangers.

It was just then that someone came to sit by the bar beside Alec, and out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a fey.

"Bane's little pet. My, you are as beautiful as he says." The man smiled, showing a row of perfect white teeth, but Alec didn't like the sinister look in the fairy's eyes.

"Tell me, why would Magnus leave such a wonderful specimen alone in a place like this? There are such...unsavory characters."

Alec rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the counter. "I can take care of myself."

"Maybe, but apparently not your Parabatai."

The comment hit far too close to home, Alec had been blaming himself for not being able to save Jace, he'd been working his ass off trying to get him back and he was failing; and even the Seelie's knew it. Alec shoved himself away from the counter. "My Parabatai is none of your concern."

"On the contrary, it's quite the talk in the court. I thought Shadowhunters were brave but it looks like all they do is run from their problems."

Alec had had enough: between his long morning, the false hope of finding Jace, the disastrous turn at the docks and now being put in the middle of a loud, flashy party where he was being harassed-Alec was done. He stormed away from the Seelie, through the crowd and into Magnus's room, slamming the door behind him.

Alec hid himself away in Magnus's room, thankful that while it was warded from any party guests, it allowed Alec to enter without resistance. He'd gone there on instinct, his mind knowing that the room he stayed in when he was over, the one he shared with Magnus, would be the most comforting place. Alec closed the door behind him. He could feel himself shaking, a tremor that was running through him, from the tips of his fingers to his toes. Alec kicked off his boots and shed his gear jacket, it was suddenly far too uncomfortable. Alec sat down on the bed, trying to calm himself down but Alec could feel his throat tightening and he mentally cursed himself for being so weak.

Alec curled up into a ball on his side of the bed, grabbing a blanket to pull around his body as he laid down. He pulled the blanket over his head and closed his eyes, trying to block out the low rumble of the party that had broken out in Magnus's loft. It was times like this that Alec just wanted quiet and for his head to stop being so loud. He'd been dealing with this on his own for years, not wanting Izzy to know because he was her big brother and he wasn't supposed to be weak, and not wanting Jace to know because Alec didn't want Jace to think badly of him.

Everything felt irritating on his skin, Alec could hardly even lay still because his clothes felt like small needles. The noise outside was making his head pound and Alec squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he tried to block everything out.

"Alexander?"

Alec's eyes widened at the voice, no no no Magnus wasn't supposed to see this. He'd done such a good job at hiding this part of him from everyone, his Parabatai included and now that was going to end just because he couldn't handle a little discomfort.

"Angel?" Alec could hear Magnus's footsteps approaching and then a hand pulling the blanket away from his face. Alec winced as light flooded into his eyes, blinking as he looked up into Magnus's worried eyes.

"Are you alright?" Magnus reached down to tangle his fingers in Alec's hair and Alec let out a quiet whimper, flushing when he realized Magnus had heard him. Magnus seemed to understand because he kicked off his own shoes and climbed onto the bed beside Alec, pulling the taller Shadowhunter into his arms and tucking the blanket around him.

"What happened?" Magnus asked softly, snapping his fingers and silencing the room around them, a soundproofing spell. Alec curled in closer.

"I...it's….it's a thing that happens sometimes. I just….it's too much."

Magnus nodded, gently brushing his fingers through Alec's hair, "Sensory overload."

Alec's eyes widened slightly, he'd never heard anyone use that term before, let alone in reference to himself. Magnus gave a gentle chuckle. "I may have done some research."

Alec gave Magnus a small smile, tucking his head farther into Magnus's chest, trying to block everything out and focus on the solid body that was holding him.

"It's just...there is so much going on. We're no closer to finding Valentine and I can feel Jace through the bond at times, he's in so much pain and I can't do anything about it and- and it's just too much. Today we tried everything we could and we didn't find anything, Jace is still in trouble and we lost so many Shadowhunters. He's still out there and here I am at a party trying to get information and I can't even handle a party to get him back. I can't...I don't…" Alec could feel a tear sliding down his cheek and he didn't know how it got there. Damn it. Alexander Lightwood did not cry.

"Alexander, I don't know anyone who could handle this situation as well as you have. You don't have to be strong all of the time. If you need to take a break, you can. We're all looking for Jace, if you need to take a breather then Izzy, or I, or Lydia can all help while you do so."

Alec nodded gently, though he said nothing more. Magnus was always so accommodating but Alec knew he wouldn't be able to stop until Jace was safe, back at the institute. Magnus seemed to know this, however, because instead of pressing for Alec to agree he changed the subject.

"What is it that helps you feel better when you deal with this on your own?"

Alec blushed immediately, ducking his head and trying to hide from view. If a pit opened up and swallowed him whole he probably wouldn't fight it in this moment.

"Alexander, I want to help but I need to know what helps you so that I don't make it worse."

Alec stayed silent for a moment before he finally spoke.

"Usually I go somewhere quiet and curl up with a blanket. It helps to put it over my head, it...it blocks everything out." Alec flushed darker, embarrassed to be admitting any of this. His whole face felt like it was going to melt from humiliation. " I can't explain it, it just works. Physical contact helps, I….being in your arms is helping."

Magnus smiled softly, reaching down to pull the blanket over both of their heads, his feet intertwining with Alec's.

"Do not be embarrassed to share this with me. I would never judge you for taking care of yourself."

Magnus moved the hand that was not currently in Alec's hair to his back, gently rubbing circles there.

"I want to be there for you when you need me. You don't always have to be the responsible Shadowhunter, you're allowed to have moments when you're just a human."

Alec took a moment to process Magnus's words, his cheeks still flaming but he looked up slowly at Magnus and gave him a very small smile. Alec had never been cared for the way Magnus was caring for him in this moment. Alec felt embarrassed of course, he was a grown man curling up under a blanket for Angel's sake, but he also felt safe in Magnus's arms, in ways he'd never felt safe before. Magnus cared, and that was something that Alec wasn't used to. Tenderness was new to Alec and he felt his chest tightening, his breath catching in his throat.

"Thank you." Alec's voice was quiet and he let his eyes close immediately too embarrassed to look at Magnus any longer. He knew Magnus wouldn't make fun of him, but that didn't mean he didn't still feel a little shy about it.

Magnus didn't seem to mind, instead he snapped his fingers, dimming the lights in the room and lighting some candles, before resting his head on top of Alec's. He could feel the Shadowhunter's body starting to relax under his own touch and he smiled softly to himself. It didn't take long for Alec's breathing to even out and when he slid into unconsciousness Magnus didn't have the heart to move and risk waking him, so he closed his own eyes, Vampires and party forgotten.


End file.
